"You look at a star from two motives,
because it is luminous and because it is incomprehesible.
You have at your side a softer radiance
and a greater mystery, Woman."
-Victor Hugo
Just recently, I had the chance to read the short story titled, “The Birthmark” by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Here is a story written in the mid 1800’s that seems to accurately pin-the-tail on the Jack Assian ways of today's society. Husbands and wives that are critical of each other’s imperfections, the love of personal wants and comforts over the love of a spousal needs, technology outweighing humanity, gaining self worth through following personal or cultural notions of physical perfection…and the list goes on and on. A real gem of a story for numerous reasons... but just one of all these themes hit me while reading it this time around.
The story takes place during the late 1700’s where we find a man of science, named Aylmer, who marries a beautiful woman named Georgiana. Now Georgiana is the most beautiful girl in town and many men consider her touched by an angel or charmed by a fairy, because from birth has had a small light birthmark on her cheek in the shape of a miniature hand. Men who admired Georgiana liked the birthmark, and thought it made her all the more attractive. Aylmer knows he has obtained the most prized and perfect woman in town, maybe even in the world...well, if it were not for that birthmark but he is willing to see beyond that.
Shortly after their marriage, Aylmer asks his wife one morning if she has ever considered removing the birthmark from her cheek. This obviously upsets Georgiana and catches her completely off guard, since she wants to please her husband and has never considered the birthmark as anything but a beauty mark. As time passes, Aylmer is more and more bothered by his wife's birthmark; in his mind it is the only thing holding her back from perfection. His obsession with Georgiana's one flaw is so pervasive that eventually, out of her respect for his opinion, she begins to hate the cursed mark on her cheek as well. One Evening, she overhears him dreaming of cutting deep into her skin to remove the blemish, so the next morning she asks him to use his knowledge of science and technology to remove the birthmark and make her desirable once more.
After several attempts he finally concocts the elixir that he believes will work--but there are risks. After she takes the potion, she falls asleep as her husband watches her birthmark hold fast as if gripping her soul, then it begins to pale. Aylmer is extremely joyous at his accomplishments and wakes Georgiana momentarily to exclaim, "My peerless bride, it is successful! You are perfect!" She looks in the mirror and sees that the birthmark’s blemish has almost completely disappeared, but then Georgiana feels her life beginning to fade as the birthmark fades, only to quietly die as she is released from her imperfection.
Now my summation of the story does not begin to do justice to Hawthorne's ability to tell a story...so I put the short story's link below. Sometimes, and I am sure I am not alone, I focus too much on the flaws of family members around me. Being married, sometimes the things that we husbands and wives once thought cute or endearing about a fiancé have become great annoyances in our spouses. Now I am not talking about anything specific, just the general combination of imperfections that every individual, including myself, has. But I do recognize (as many men sooner or later do) that I truly married out of my league--Tami is a bona fide angelic being. We each have a spark of divinity with in us, and we should approach that aspect of our loved ones more often. Upon visiting a few Sihk elders within one of their temples in Toronto, they greeted me with one word "Namasté", which means "I greet the Divinity within you". How much more necessary it is to greet the divinity within our family than within a stranger. At some point we husbands have to say, “If the only way to keep my sweet angel from floating back up to heaven is to allow her to keep a little dirt in her pocket to weigh her down, then so be it.”
So I did something about my new realization, my new awakening...I went up to Tami, sat her on the couch, held her hand, and while looking deep into her eyes, I said...
"Namasté"
To which she responded, "Bless you...That was a weird sneeze. Are you coming down with something? Where is the hand sanitizer? Better not get me sick!" as she walked away to rummage through the medicine cabinet. I guess this is one of those Mars/Venus things right?
The Birthmark by Nathaniel Hawthorne: READ IT HERE
If you have 5 minutes, you will like the story better from Hawthorne.
